Little by little I make progress. I am clearing out my clutter, and it is uncovering some emotional...stuff. I realize I haven't forgiven myself and many others. I think that's a lot of what I've been holding on to. I feel like my history is what makes me...me, and I'm afraid if I forgive the past and let it be the past that I will disappear. So, I am making it my goal to forgive my past. I am forgiving all those who have hurt me, including myself. I am breaking a cycle of self hate that my family has taught me. They wanted to push me to be better, but hurt me in the process. I know that they love me, and I forgive them. They only did what they thought was best. I think this is an important lesson. When some one hurts you intentionally it is easier to brush them off as a bad person, but when some one you love hurts you when they try to help you it is much harder to forgive. These are the people who are supposed to protect you from pain not give it to you.
Now, I must find it in myself to forgive. I am a better person for all my mistakes and all the lessons that others have taught me, but now I have to let go of them and that pain. The only thing I need to keep from my past is the lessons I've learned.
Lesson:
Forgive, for it is the greatest release.
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