Day 23

          Sometimes you just have to cry. There are days that are so long and hard there is nothing left but to cry at the end of the day...and then pray. School project and test are hard anyways, but sometimes life gets a hold of you emotionally.  I am at that age where my friends are getting married and having kids. For those of you who don't know me, I was married twice, and the second time I was lucky enough to get pregnant a couple weeks after the wedding. But, I lost the baby. My second husband left me a little over a year after. All I have ever wanted in life was to get married and have children, and it seems to me everyone else gets to live that life but me. Granted, I know a lot of my issues are of my own making, though I didn't at the time. It still doesn't help the pain.
          One of my closest friends had her second son last night, and though I am truly happy for her, it's also just another reminder of what I don't have. I am two times divorced at 24, no children, and a partial furnished apartment, with no degree. It is painful for me to see what others have and not be angry that I seem to always get the short end of the stick. However, this year is forcing me to look at things through a different perspective. I have two jobs, the ability to further my education, a family that loves me, friends (though they are far away), a safe place to live, a washer and dryer, a refrigerator  food, my dogs, a bed, a sofa, a shower, etc. I really am lucky, I just have to learn how to be happy with what I have.

Lesson:

Learn to be happy with what you have, and then....you'll be happy.