Day 26

          I knew today would be better, and it was I got a lot done. Not everything I would have liked, but a lot more than I usually do. I am still upset, deep down in my soul. I'm not sure what it is, but it hasn't come to the surface yet. I have a feeling whatever it is will be quite painful, so it's taking its time and easing me into it. It probably has something to do with my father and my abandonment issues, but that's just speculation for now. I had a wonderful talk with my mother today. I miss her a lot. We had a few year that were rough and we barely spoke, now I get sad if I don't talk to her often (everyday is preferred). Mothers are important, so are fathers. However, if you really want to get technical, the earth is our mother, and the sky is our father. I think that is why I prefer a polytheistic view of the world. While I believe all gods are the same one, I feel more comfortable acknowledge both a masculine and a feminine version of the same god. I know it's confusing for a lot of people, but it just feels better when I can pray to a female about girl problems (such as relationships) and a male about more masculine issue (such as work). There will always be overlap, which is fine because I'm really praying to the same power, just different aspects. I like it though. My mother and father are always near, even when my mom can't be.

Lesson:

You are loved, even if you feel alone.