Day 68

          I have always been baffled by those who are optimists. Are you really that happy or are you putting on a front? I am a pessimist. I figure if I plan for everything to go wrong and something goes even partially right, then I am pleased. For example, I predict I will fail a test, I get a C, I am quite pleased. However, if I predict I'm going to get an A and I get a C, I am quite disappointed. It's a mental game of cat and mouse I play with myself, and I don't know of it is the best way of thinking. So, do I change my way of thinking? And if I do, am I no longer being true to myself? To create some sort of compromise, to try to be happy with where I am at as of right now. I am not, but I am trying. You know, that whole "letting go" thing. I was able to let go of external things, yet, I seem to have a much harder time letting go of internal things. Still, I know it is important, so I try a little everyday. That's all anyone can ask.

Lesson:

It's easier to be objective than to be subjective.