Day 69

          Worked a double today, have my first day of school tomorrow. Balancing everything is much more difficult than it seems. I don't feel like I do a very good job. However, I passed all of my classes this last semester, and I only have one science class this semester as opposed to two. So, here is to hoping for a better life. After all that's what this journey is for. I moved to Colorado and started a new life. Life takes time, something I've realized is that I am very focused on the destination. I wonder if that's why I feel so empty. I am constantly working towards something, never stopping, never breathing.  I've only ever had 1 real vacation. No wonder I'm so tired, but school is starting and I'll constantly be doing homework. My only option is to my best to balance the world on my shoulders.

Lesson:

To say that is is the journey that counts is entirely different than experiencing it.

Day 64

          I feel like all I do these days is work and sleep. That I have lost all sense of who I am. That I have lost all sense of purpose. Yet, I feel like the old saying is true. It is always darkest before the dawn. I plan to live a full and happy life, so this is only the darkness before the dawn. I feel like if I have faith and continue forward that I will soon leave this darkness behind. I don't really know where I got this hope from...do all people have it? Is it just a select few? Who are we that we never lose hope. I have been discouraged several times, but I have never given up hop. I have always found a way to move forward, even when life has brought me to my knees. What is it that gives me hope? Or is it hope at all? What if it is sheer stubbornness ..I wouldn't put it past me. Either way, I must continue.

Lesson:

It doesn't really matter why you continue, just as long as you do.