Day 64

          I feel like all I do these days is work and sleep. That I have lost all sense of who I am. That I have lost all sense of purpose. Yet, I feel like the old saying is true. It is always darkest before the dawn. I plan to live a full and happy life, so this is only the darkness before the dawn. I feel like if I have faith and continue forward that I will soon leave this darkness behind. I don't really know where I got this hope from...do all people have it? Is it just a select few? Who are we that we never lose hope. I have been discouraged several times, but I have never given up hop. I have always found a way to move forward, even when life has brought me to my knees. What is it that gives me hope? Or is it hope at all? What if it is sheer stubbornness ..I wouldn't put it past me. Either way, I must continue.

Lesson:

It doesn't really matter why you continue, just as long as you do.

Day 63

          Today I woke up unhappy, and then I realized that I've been unhappy for quite some time. I am struggling. Depression has taken a deep root in my heart again. The most I can do is wait it out. Each day, I try to make decisions that will bring me joy, as I struggle to keep myself from hiding in my bed. I'm not sure why I feel like the dark is closing around me again, however I refuse to falter. I still feel in my heart that coming out here was the right thing to do and I shall do my best to stay positive.

Lesson:
Sometimes you just have to carry on.